


Close Enough - The Redux

by MarcyLarson



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Adventure, Alcohol, Angst, Blood, F/M, Humor, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, possible future implied Zer0/Axton??, the slowest of burns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-25 21:50:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14986346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarcyLarson/pseuds/MarcyLarson
Summary: SO, this a super old fanfic I decided to revive and fix up for ao3. A chronological series of blurbs written from the perspective of Krieg’s inner voice as he follows the vault hunters in their quest, attempts to regain his sanity, and pines after a certain siren.





	1. TOOT TOOT ALL ABOARD THE PSYCHO EXPRESS

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned earlier, this fic is quite old. The first 4 chapters were written by high school me so forgive me if they're sort of clunky/rambly. Also! I'm not sure if how graphic my writing about violence would be considered. If ya'll think I should slap a warning on it let me know.
> 
> Anyways yeah I hope people enjoy =]

The rat squealed shrilly as he cowered before me. The poor thing looked so pathetic, I considered trying to spare him. But I was already raising the axe above my head and charging at him, grinning madly behind my mask in anticipation. My axe went through his midsection with sickening ease, despite the bluntness of the blade and the thickness of his clothing. Part of me wondered was the Siren was thinking of all this. She'd stopped shooting at me, which was a good sign. But butchering a bunch of packrats in front of her hardly seemed like a way to convince her of my friendly intentions.

As I pondered my other half was having a ball. The next rat stumbled as my head whipped in his direction, as if he was going to run but decided against it. In an instant I was looming over him, splattered in the blood of his little rat friends. " **I'M GONNA PUT MY PAIN INTO YOUR SOUL!** " I roared deafeningly, my mask only inches away from his.

The rat whimpered in terror before his eyes rolled back in his head and he sunk to the ground. It wasn't the first time I'd scared someone unconscious. Since he wasn't moving anymore I lost interest and turned to look for the next kill. In the wrong direction, that is; I heard a shriek on my right, dangerously close. I hardly reacted fast enough to see the fourth rat leaping at me, claws outstretched for my neck. But before he could sink them into me, time froze.

I stared in confusion as the sputtering excuse for a human being stopped in midair, arms still reaching for me but stuck in place. There was a sound like rushing air as the hysterically screaming rat hung suspended in a swirling ball of light. I glanced questioningly behind me. The siren stood behind me with her bare arm outstretched, clutching a spherical light in her hand. Her tattoos glowed a brilliant cyan for a moment, then faded back to their original state. She stepped closer, meeting my gaze with an expression I couldn't quite read. I only panted and stared.

_She helped me?_

I still felt fazed by the whole situation, but outer me returned my attention to the rat. It shrieked as I brought my axe crashing down on it's bony torso. The bubble vanished, and the rat hit the ground with a light thud. It struggled for a bit, gasping and weakly grasping at the weapon buried in its chest. Once it went still I casually held its body down with my foot and tugged the axe out. I felt very aware of the Siren standing behind me, watching in silence. 

_Now tell her thank you. Tell her that because of her, we might actually one day be able to act like a normal person again._

I whipped around and gesticulated dramatically while shouting, "I powdered my cockatiel for the ribcage slaughter!"

She narrowed her eyes at me, and for a moment I wondered if she’d start shooting again. But her expression of distrust softened into a smile. I had been irritated with myself for yelling something so stupid, but that smile was worth any sort of nonsensical garbage I could've spouted off.

_Huh... close enough._

She smiled at me. The subtle, earnest, genuine smile of a person who helped me, as opposed to the manic grins of murderers I was used to. It was like seeing an oasis in the middle of a desert. I was close enough to see her eyes were a striking silver, like the metal of a brand new VLADOF, unlike anything I had ever seen before. Did all sirens have eyes like hers, I wondered.

"We will be leaving the Dustfield terminal in five minutes!" A cheery voice echoing over a distant intercom startled me from my thoughts. I blinked and realized the siren wasn't smiling anymore, instead giving me a bewildered look. I anxiously averted my gaze, wondering how long I'd been staring down at her.

I hadn’t even noticed the large train that had pulled into the station. It hissed as its doors slid open. The siren glanced between me and the train, seemingly worried. I questioned her guilty expression until I realized. "Well... thank you. For all that." she said with an apologetic smile. My stomach sank when she saluted me and jogged to the train entrance. Leaving me behind.

 

What did I expect anyway? For her to run off into the desert with me? She was a vault hunter. She was here for adventure and fortune, not to make friends with the nutty locals. My hand ran across the back of my head, twitching fingers fumbling with the leather straps.

_Damn it all. Getting my hopes up over nothing._

Outer me didn’t seem bothered at all, humming a disjointed tune as I slowly started to walk along the tracks, just as I was before I was hit by the train. The cheery song was completely out of place; I could feel my newfound hope falling apart each painful second.

"Hey! Wait!" I heard her call. I turned around. She stood in the train’s entryway, leaning against the sliding door. “It’s… pretty dead out here. You sure you wanna stay?”

I blinked at her, not comprehending.

"I'm heading for the vault, if you want to come along too.” 

The offer shocked me like a bucket of ice water. Me, accompanying a vault hunter on their adventure? I could feel excitement rising in my chest, despite all my doubts. Delving even further into the bloodfest that was the Borderlands didn't sound like a great way to get a handle on my sanity. But then again, neither was aimlessly pillaging bandit camp after bandit camp. The answer was a no-brainer.

_Yes yes yes! Get on the train! Do what she says!_

"Not because you told me to!" I yelled threateningly and scrambled up the side of the yellow train. The metal was hot from the beating sun, but I still seemed content to sit cross-legged on the roof and clang my axe against the metal.

_Get in the train numbskull, not on top of it!_

I didn't budge. "Mush Buttershanks, mush!" I ordered, beating it with the axe blade. 

"You sure you don't want to...?" she trailed off when I glowered down at her very seriously.

"No time? NO TURKEY!" I bellowed.

"Alright... just hang on tight I guess.” She shrugged and waved a friendly goodbye before walking inside.

I could barely contain my excitement. There I was, on a train about to whisk me off to the far reaches of Pandora where I'd search for the legendary vault with a beautiful siren. I wasn't really interested in the vault of course. What use is money to me when all I do is try to eat it? No, this was my chance to finally get out of the badlands and spend some time with sane people who wouldn't try to kill me at every turn. It was my long-awaited escape from endless wandering and senseless murder. Maybe I could find the help I needed to get a grip on my sanity again. In my head I knew it was a longshot but for once I felt confident enough to hope.

I grunted in surprise when the train suddenly lurched forward, sending me flying off my ass. My fingers scraped across the roof as I slid backwards, trying to find some to hold on to, but I ended up slipping off of the side of the train. Terror choked me for one small moment, until my hand caught on the blessed metal of a safety rail. I thanked my uncharacteristically lucky stars.

Once I got over the initial shock of falling, I started chuckling, then laughing at the top of my lungs. The wind rushing against me was invigorating. It was almost fun, hanging on to the side of the the train as it sped down the tracks. I watched the desert whiz by in relative peacefulness, save for my incessant screaming. At one point I'd even slashed a bandit near the tracks with my axe while I was flying by. Poor bastard didn't even know what hit him.

 

Nothing could have spoiled my mood as I finally waved goodbye to the ramshackle, sun-baked bandit camps and dusty skeletons. I hung on to that handlebar for what felt like ages, watching the rocky wastelands thin out to snowy tundra. It'd been awhile since I'd seen snow. For once it finally felt like things were going to turn out alright for me. That is, until I heard the sound of gunshots coming from within the train.

_What's going on in there?!_

In a panic I glanced behind me down the side of the train. The word 'Hyperion' was plastered across the cars in large white lettering. I wasn't even thinking!

_Get in there, now!_

Luckily I could sense the importance and started tearing away at the side of the car with my axe. I managed to make a hole in the metal, which I pried open with my hands. I poked my head in, but there was nothing but a bunch of crates stacked inside the dimly lit room.

_The next one, try the next one!_

I leapt against the wind to the next car with ease and prepared to break inside again, until I heard footsteps thundering on the roof. I peered over the edge of the car. A tall, dark figure stood before two Hyperion engineers with a glowing blade in hand. He hardly looked intimidated by the two mechanically advanced soldiers. Then again, it was impossible to read any expression he might've had as he wore an opaque helmet.

One of the engineers drew back his large metallic fists, but the thin, faceless man didn't budge. The fist sprang out, only to phase right through his chest. The engineer froze in bewilderment.

_What the...?_

The man (I assumed it was a man. Really there was no way of telling what it was underneath the full armor.) simply disappeared, then reappeared behind the other engineer. Before they had the time to figure out what had happened, he skewered him through the back. The engineer staggered and stared down at the blade jutting out of his chest in bewilderment. Gracefully, the assassin kicked off the sword handle and twisted in the air. He pushed off the other engineer's back to his comrade, forcing the blade through his chest as well. The two stared at each other in shock as they bled out around the same sword.

I could only raise an eyebrow at the whole display. I had no clue what he just did, but I was impressed. The assassin drew his blade from their bodies in a swift motion, a red holographic '0' flashing over the smooth helmet. As they crumpled to the roof he turned, looking right in my direction. I could only self-consciously duck behind the edge of the moving car and hope he hadn't seen me.

I heard the light footsteps on the roof just above my head and expected the digistructed sword to pierce me at any moment. The moving car shook with a loud crash sounding from inside and the footsteps stopped, then headed in the other direction. I cautiously peeked out again just to see him jumping into the manhole. Immediately I hoisted myself back up and crawled to the door, bracing myself for the kind of scene I might find in there.

My breath escaped me in a relieved sigh when I saw the Siren standing below, reloading her Maliwan SMG. Several others stood with her, other vault hunters I figured. Dead Hyperion soldiers, torn up loaders, and spent shells littered the floor. I probably shouldn't have worried so much. I mean, she is a siren with incredible powers. She'd defeated the first wave, but knowing _him_ , he wouldn't just send a few goons after a siren. He'd be pulling out all the big guns, using all his dirtiest tricks. I cursed my own stupidity over and over for just letting her hop on a Hyperion train. Especially since Hyperion's just about the only people who even have trains running through the Borderlands. Stupid stupid stupid!

 

I considered trying to go down there, gather the vault hunters in my arms, and jump off the train with them, but a voice interrupted my plans. _His_ voice. Though it was modulated, as if coming through a radio.

"It's cute that ya'll think you're the heroes of this little adventure, but you're not."

I heard a faint fizzling sound. It kind of sounded like…

_A lit fuse…_

"Welcome to Pandora kiddos!"

There was a deafening blast, an extreme pressure on my chest, then the peculiar sensation of flying through the air. I didn't remember much of anything after that.


	2. POOP TRAIN DECOMMISSIONED

I breathed. There was no sound, no vision. All I knew was that I was conscious and somewhat alive. My first impulse was to try to open my eyes, but my lids felt incredibly heavy. There wasn't much to see anyway, only whiteness.

_Where am I?_

Somewhere cold, was all I could come up with. My body was numb, lacking of any sort of feeling but an intense chill on my back. All I could hear was a high-pitched ringing. I wanted to try to cover my ears, but I couldn't feel my hands. Or anything else for that matter. There was no way to tell if I even still had any arms or legs, but I felt too exhausted to worry about it. My hold on consciousness was slipping, and I didn't bother to fight it.

The faint sound of voices brought me back again. They were muffled beyond comprehension, as if talking underwater. I could sense the roar of blowing wind, the unbearable cold, and how painfully numb my chest was. And just barely, I could pick out words here and there.

"...try looking under..."

"...wasn't the car...?"

I opened my eyes again with difficulty and blinked hard, trying to clear the white from my vision. It was hazy, but I could see a pale, bandage-wrapped hand in front of my face. I assumed it was mine. There was the flickering light of a fire nearby; I could hear it crackling. I breathed in, only to choke weakly on the putrid smell of rotting flesh, smoke, and gasoline. 

_You've gotta move._

My eyes followed my fingers as they dragged across the smooth surface I was laying on. Ice, I discerned. I was lying on my front, splayed out on a sheet of solid ice. Must've been lying there for a while too; the side of my head, my arms, and my chest had no feeling.

I could faintly hear something shifting behind me. Something moving and hitting the ice. I wanted to move to see the source of the noise, but my muscles still weren't cooperating. "Jesus, look at all the bodies..." The voice echoed strangely in my head, but I could just barely make out what it was saying. People; there were people nearby. 

"Yeah, looks like a few psychos hitched a ride. Poor bastards."

I suddenly realized the urgency of my situation and tried to call out for help. All that came out of my mouth was a shuddering groan.

"Hey, I think that one's still alive!" I could hear them walking towards me. One set of feet stepped into my line of sight. Or was it two? Or seven? I groaned again and,and somehow managed to roll on my back. As soon as I'd moved, a dull pain coursed through my body. Whimpering in agony, I looked up to see three hazy figures standing over me.

"Maybe we should just put'm out of his misery." said the one in the middle with a gravelly male voice. "Still have your sword?"

"Of course." said the tall one on the left in a strange, almost robotic tone. I squinted my eyes at the the glare of a blue light that had suddenly appeared in front of my face. It drew closer, hovering over my neck. I could hear the faint hum of electricity from the strip of blue light. Some sort of digistructed weapon, I guessed. Normally I'd jump to defend myself, but it seemed I didn't have the strength to. I was finally going to let them kill me. Part of me was relieved.

 _Well, that's it then. About time this ended._  

I kept blinking to try to clear the blurriness. I would've liked to see the faces of the first people who actually managed put an end to me. (Because believe me, some of the best have tried.) The blade pressed lightly against my neck. It was white hot; I could hear my skin sizzling. All it would take was a flick of the wrist to end my life, but my executioner was hesitating. No clue why. The third figure, the one who'd remained silent the whole time, leaned closer.

 

"Wait a minute..." it murmured in a familiar, lighter voice. The blade lifted from my neck. I could make out a pale face, straight, blue hair. Beautiful silver eyes.

_Her?_

By then I was starting to doubt the reality of the situation. It had to have been some odd dream. I didn't even really remember how I knew this woman. But it was really good to see her again.

"I know this guy!" she exclaimed, her mouth open in surprise.

"You _know_ him?" said the gravelly voice incredulously.

"Yeah! He helped me out back at the train station." She reached out hesitantly and gave my shoulder a light shake. “You still alive?”

My mind was already drawing a massive blank due to the fact she had her hand on my chest and was ginning right at me. I realized that was one of the few times I'd ever been touched by another human being. I couldn't form a sentence to save my life. "Nuuugghhh..." I mumbled, my breath forming fog in the air. I probably would have said the same thing.

_Wait, she said something about a train station…_

Things were slowly starting to click together. I remembered being hit by a train. And then… I saw her, at the terminal. There was killing after that, there always is. And then she invited me to come with her. And I… let her get on the Hyperion train. I didn't even notice the obvious trap and watched her walk right into it.

_Ohhhhh, god._

I wished I had the ability to smack myself in the head for being so damned _stupid_.

 

"Here, c'mon." She wedged her arms under my shoulders and grunted while she tried to help me up. "Guys, help me out here."

The other two glanced at each other apprehensively before bending down to try and lift my dead weight from the ice. I sat up with their help and leaned forward, burying my head in my hands and wincing at the building pain that surged through my body. I slurred incomprehensibly under my breath, paying little heed to the woman who'd probably just saved my life.

"Holy shit, I can't believe you survived!" she said with a slight laugh.

_Yeah, me neither._

I could see her crouch beside me between my fingers, close enough to make me painfully self-conscious. My spine went rigid when I felt her hand brush against my arm. "Knife… the knife!" I muttered through clenched teeth, my head jerking up to glare at her with my good eye.

"Alright, alright! Just checking.” she held her hands up and took a step away from me. My threatening gaze fixated on her as she muttered something to one of the others. "He's not even shivering. Hand me one of the hypos."

"We _really_ need to save these." I recognized the voice of the person who had suggested killing me with a sword.

"If you don't give me one he'll probably end up dying of hypothermia."

I heard him shuffle through his bag, muttering a bitter, "Goddammit…"

All the while I rocked back in forth with my head in my hands, trying to ride out the waves of pain. I only looked up when the siren knelt in front of me, holding out a red syringe in the palm of her hand. "Here, do you know how to use these?" I rudely jerked the hypo from her hand and jammed it into my arm, breathing out a sigh of relief as I pushed the plunger down. The pain washed away instantly, and warmth slowly returned to my rigid body. With my strength returning, I stumbled to my feet to get a better look at my rescuers.

 

One I'd recognized as the tall assassin from the train roof. He stood eerily still with his glowing sword still drawn and pointed at me. The other man wasn't so familiar. I think I remembered seeing the top of his head through the manhole. He wore a bloodstained uniform, dog tags hung around his neck, and scars dotted his face, all making him look distinctly military. He glared doubtfully at me, with one hand on a strange metal box strapped to his side. My vision was still a bit blurry, but I could make out an inscription on the box.

_Dahl huh? Looks like he's fresh off the battlefield too._

"Heheheh..." I chuckled dryly, leering at the two. To my disappointment, it seemed that I was regaining the ability to speak. "Miserable flesh tips! Dancing through my virgin democracies and barbershop pansies!"

"What the hell?" growled the soldier. I ignored him and turned my attention to the siren.

She looked a little worse for wear. (Not to say she looked any less beautiful, just… scuffed up.) Smudges of ash and grime covered her yellow armor. I realized in disgust that it was probably Hyperion armor. Drops of blood ebbed from a cut above her eye and another on her lower lip. She repeatedly sniffed while wiping the blood from her eyebrow, shivering in the cold. She was injured, but alive. Hyperion wasn't going to have another chance at her life though, not if I had anything to say about it. Or, you know, yell hysterically about it.

"Can't WAIT CAN'T WAIT! Gonna rip 'em all apart! Rip 'em... flapdragons..." I barely noticed the fact I was still monologuing nonsense while the vault hunters stared in confusion. My sentences began to trail off as I opened and closed my right hand over and over.

Something felt off.

"Where... WHERE?!" I shouted suddenly. Everyone's eyes widened in alarm. "TELL ME TELL ME TELL MEE! I'LL RIP YOUR TOENAILS OUT WITH MY TEETH!" I demanded hoarsely. They only gaped. I roared in frustration, throwing up my hands to emphasize my annoyance. I ran to fervently search the area, tossing up garbage, debris, and decaying, snow-covered bodies while screaming violently.

"He's psychotic." the soldier said flatly. Despite the noise I was making I could hear them talking behind me.

"I know. But look," she sighed, "He saved my life back there. I kind of owe him.”

_No, you don't owe me anything._

I wanted to argue. Keeping me around was just going to cause problems and slow her down. If anybody was indebted, it was me. "WHERE?! It's MINE! Gluttonous rapscallions, devouring MY happy-stick!" I yelled at the ground. I panicked when a large metal beam was flung behind me as I sifted furiously through the wreckage. Luckily it didn't seem to hit anyone.

 

" _That guy_ saved your life?" the man's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Yes! I met him yesterday before I got on the train. I almost got ambushed by bandits but he chopped them up before they could get to me."

"Are you sure of that? Perhaps he just missed the chance, to kill you as well." the tall one added. He'd remained quiet since he met me, but it seemed he had been forming a similar opinion as the Dahl soldier was.

"I'm completely sure." she said in a stern tone. I could easily picture the glare she must've been wearing. It didn't feel right to have her defending me. Defending me because she felt like she owed me.

 

The adrenaline was making my head hurt but I kept digging through the piles of rubble like my life depended on it. I grunted in frustration again, giving up on the current mound. My eye darted over the snow shelves and piles of bodies desperately, but it was no use. I was worried I was going to break down and throw a complete tantrum when a bright glare on the corner of my eye distracted me. The light came from the top of a busted up train car. On top of it was an engineer’s body, dripping blood down the side of the car, and buried to the hilt in said body was the thing I was looking for. The garish axe reflected the beams of the morning sun like a heavenly object, making it look no less disgusting than it already was. I started to hyperventilate in pure joy, tears brimming in my eye.

_Oh just go pick the stupid thing up._

"YOU DID ME PROUD!" I exclaimed to the axe with glee, throwing my arms out as if it was going to run down and embrace me. It didn't of course. To reciprocate, I jumped up on the car, pried the weapon out, and held it high above my head in triumph. Below, the vault hunters watched me.

"And now he's armed. Great." said the soldier with a grimace. 

"You'd be impressed Axton, he tossed that thing from at least 4 yards away and hit a rat right in the face! Seriously, perfect split down his forehead." The siren traced a line down her face for emphasis, causing the man who was apparently named Axton to frown even deeper. (Still hadn't managed to catch her name though.)

"Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any more comfortable with the idea, doll."

"I think he'll be good to have around. Especially if we come across any bandits."

"You sure he isn't a bandit himself?"

"Of course, he… agh. Hey! You're not a bandit right?" She looked to me and smiled encouragingly. _Hoping_ I'd say something to redeem myself.

I held an arm out and pointed my axe at her. "Shut your gory hex-pickles!"

_Hey, don't talk to her like that!_

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" I collapsed to my knees and shoved my head into a snowdrift in some sort of attempt to shut _me_ out. Which was futile of course. There went the chance making a good first impression on the new vault hunters. (Assuming I hadn't already lost it earlier.)

"I swear to God, if we wasted medical supplies on an oversized psycho..." I was still able to hear Axton’s muffled grumbling through the snow.

_Ouch. Cutting me deep here, soldier._

I yanked my head out and tumbled backwards clumsily, shaking the snow off like a dog would. "I promise, I'll keep an eye on him." the siren offered, "If he tries to go for someone, I'll phaselock him and you two can have at it. But trust me, I don't think it'll come to that."

_And that almost cut even deeper. Almost._

"It better not." The siren exhaled and strode over to me, leaning on her knees a bit to try to meet my eye level.

"Hey, you can come with us if you want. Just um... bring up the back okay? Y'know... keep a bit of a distance."

_Yeah, I get it._

And I did. She was cautious, and I don't blame her. There were lives on the line and it was no time to start taking things personally. Outwardly, I responded with "Yeahahaha! Best backer in the business!"

She nodded slowly. "Okay. We're gonna look for shelter. So keep your eyes peeled."

"YES YESSS! Peel the corneas!" I shouted eagerly, jumping to my feet and raising my axe above my head. Probably with full intention of actually trying to remove some poor sucker's corneas later on and… keep them in a jar or something equally stupid.

"Yyyup…" She was really trying to hide how uncomfortable she was, I could see it. It was mortifying.

_I suppose asking you to apologize to her for the rude language, and to give her sincere thanks for everything she's done for us is asking a little too much of you?_

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled, swinging my axe behind me as if I thought someone had been standing back there, whispering things in my ears.

_Right. Should've known better._

 

Unfortunately, the siren took this as her cue to leave. Before I could try to get myself to apologize she held her hands up defensively and walked off to rejoin the sane people.

 _At this rate you're going to completely blow it sometime in the next hou_ _r._ _And then we'll get shot up by some of the galaxy's best fighters, plus a siren with superhuman powers. Could you at least try to act somewhat normal?_

No response. Either my voice wasn't heard, or I was asking for too much again. "So, where to next?" Axton turned around to face the siren, crossing his arms and hunching over in the cold.

"It looks like the wreckage ends here. Was there anyone else on our train?" The siren held her hair back from her face and tried to squint through the hazy air. She nearly had to shout to make sure her voice was heard over the wind.

"I don't know… oh, wasn't there that short guy? With the bluish hair? He was riding with us."

While the two talked, the assassin bent down and stared at the ground with interest. I tilted my head questioningly as I watched him trace a line in the snow with a slender finger.

"Yes, him! I... haven't seen a body or anything."

"I don't know, should we keep looking or-"

"If I may…" They were interrupted by the assassin's monotone voice. The two stopped talking and stared at him. He's been so silent it was sort of easy to forget he was there. They nodded slightly in response.

"Footprints in the snow, followed by a tire track, leading to the North." he said, motioning to the light impressions left in the snow. I couldn't help but notice he only had four fingers on each hand,

"I didn't even see that-"

"One male, one female," he continued, cutting the siren off, "left here three hours ago, walking with a limp."

The other two blinked in astonishment. "Wow, good eye. Snow just about blew those away."

"Then let's get moving, before they are gone for good, or we freeze to death." he replied with a hint of annoyance in his modulated voice. (I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something odd about the way he talked.) Without another word, the assassin straightened up and took a brisk pace in the direction of the tracks.

 

"God, he won't slow down for five minutes." Axton muttered and trudged through the snow after him, the Siren following close behind.

"What are we even going to do?" She asked. She sounded a little less confident at that point; dare I say, she sounded somewhat afraid. It sort of pained me to hear her like that.

"Find shelter right?"

"No, I mean once we find somewhere safe and get our shit together. Where are we going to go?"

"Not sure…"

The two went quiet, quickening the pace to make sure they could keep the assassin in sight. I took advantage of the silence to start belting out some random, made-up song. "Bloooood blood blood liveerrrrr juice! Staaaaain every snowflake! Rain crimson and biiiiiile, crimson and biiiiiiile!" The graphic song started turning more into a religious chant. "Crrrimson and bile! Bile and red! Shreds of meat! Shove it down your GODDAMN PASTA COOKER!"

_Now you're just embarrassing me._

Out of what must have been sheer politeness, the two made no comment on my song. "The CEO of Hyperion tried to kill us." the siren laughed in awkward disbelief, like she was trying to ignore the screaming going on behind her.

"Boil the blood… watch it sizzle…"

Axton shrugged. "Not a big surprise. Of course he didn't want us getting to the vault."

"The meatiest blood!" I continued to ramble on during the conversation.

"But he feels so threatened that we'll steal his precious treasure that he purposefully rounds all the vault hunters up and tries to execute us one by one. Isn't he already filthy rich? What could he possibly want with the vault, let alone this dump of a planet?" She had a good point there. I couldn't give less of a crap about that Eridium garbage myself. (In fact, I'd be happy to never see another ounce of it in my lifetime.) Maybe there was more to it than money.

_Wonder what else could be in that vault…_

"Unicorn teeth! Collard greens! CYSTIC ACNE!" I offered, as if they were intelligent suggestions.

"No idea. I think he's… he's- alright would you shut up already?!" That comment was directed at me, of course. I raised an eyebrow behind my mask, which ended up making my left eye twitch even more spastically.

"I burned the place to the ground! Slaughtered everyone inside! Cracked their heads on the door!" my voice was low and very serious, rumbling within my throat like boiling lava. "No more comments from the Legume Gallery! Not anymore!" And then, as if I'd just given them some piece of profound wisdom, I straightened up and hitched my axe up on my shoulder. The two said nothing and turned away from me, taking only furtive glances behind them to make sure I wouldn't suddenly try to throw my overwrought weapon at their backs. Which would be a fair assumption.

Excluding my periodic yelling, the rest of the hike across the glacier was relatively quiet. The Vault Hunters didn't think much of me, I know. I was just happy that she'd survived, not to mention saved me from getting my throat slit by some sort of space ninja. I suppose the next goal was to get to safety, then get off Pandora... right?

_They're not going to keep trying to find the vault, are they? Even after all of this?_

The determined expressions they wore gave me the idea they weren't about to give up the treasure they'd traveled across the galaxy for. To them, all of that money was probably worth risking life and limb.

_Vault hunters..._


	3. WELCOME TO HEL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one... is a b l o a t ed monstrosity of a chapter but I do not wanna rewrite it all so EH here it is

They were right about that tall guy never slowing down. He kept a brisk pace even through the harsh winds and thick snow without the slightest hesitation. While we staggered after him, trembling in the cold and navigating around scattered corpses. I could've sworn I heard the soldier apologize to one of them when his foot bumped against it. It was only when the blizzard started to let up when I saw lights blinking faintly in the distance.

"See that?" Axton said aloud.

"Yeah." said the siren, the word escaping her cobalt lips with a puff of mist, "Do any of us have guns? Y'know, just in case…"

He shook his head, placing a hand protectively on the box strapped to his hip. "I still have the sabre, but she got damaged in the blast. I'm gonna need some time to repair'er" The siren nodded and shakily ran her fingers through her hair.

"Hey, if we get in a tight spot I'll lock 'em in place." she offered. As we walked closer, the outline of a large structure came into view. "Well, one of them anyway."

 

The structure seemed to be just another mound of junk, but the holographic road sign out in front of it suggested civilization. I peered through the snowflakes to make out the letters. It looked like it was originally supposed to say "Welcome to the Shelf", but several letters had burned out, making it instead read "Welcome to hel" 

_How fitting._

When we finally made it to the trash heap, and the assassin was waiting for us next to a ramshackle mailbox. He was bending to search through it, presumably to find information about whomever lived there, but the box was empty.

"There's a door up here," he called, "probably a bandit camp, that raids from wrecks."

"So what do we do? Knock?" asked the siren.

"Presumably." said the assassin with a shrug. He wrapped his gloved hand tighter around the handle of his weapon, and I did the same around mine. Discounting whatever strange powers the siren had at her disposal, we were the only two that were armed.

Even so, the siren strode bravely forward and rapped on the door, trying to peer through the circle of thick glass. "You might not wanna look at that directly." Axton warned.

She glanced behind her at the three of us. "Huh?" She startled a bit when the door scanner started up and cast a neon grid of light on our group.

"Saturday night rave!" I shouted excitedly. The light flashed red and shut off in abrupt response.

"Access denied. Intruders at the door." said a digital voice mockingly. Axton sighed and adjusted the box strapped to his side. He shot me an annoyed look before waving the siren out of the way and bracing himself.

"Fuck it, I'm kicking the door down." he muttered.

"I got it I got it!" he trailed off when a voice sounded from inside the shack. The lens buzzed a couple times, suggesting that it was zooming in on each of us individually. "What's the password?" asked the person on the other side of the door through some sort of radio transceiver. They sounded pretty young. Didn't sound like a bandit at least, unless they started recruiting children. The siren glanced back at us, her eyes narrowed in frustration, clearly way to tired and cold to be dealing with these sort of shenanigans.

"Let us in, kid!" she demanded.

"Kid?!" the gatekeeper cried indignantly, "I'll have you know I'm one hundred percent _woman_."

"Who's at the door?" someone with a thick, accented voice called in the background of the transceiver.

"Let's see here... there's some lady with blue hair, a really big muscle dude, Guy-Manuel, and a life-size G.I. Joe!" the girl shouted loudly as if she were trying to talk to someone across the room, "They wanna come in!"

"Ehhh, I dunno. They sound like losers." could be heard faintly in the background.

"Oh come on!" Axton groaned and rammed his fist against the door. "It's fucking freezing out here! Let us in!"

"Why should I? For all I know, you people could be bandits, come to steal our vast hordes of ammo-wait shit! Probably shouldn't have mentioned that!" The last sentence was whispered, but the transceiver still picked it up.

The siren sighed heavily in exasperation and leaned closer to the door to make sure her voice was heard. "We're not bandits, we're vault hunters! We were on a train to a resupply station! It blew up and we're stranded out here!"

"Oh my gosh, me too!" she gasped, "How crazy is that?!"

"Step aside, let me see them!" The accented voice interrupted. There was a shifting noise, and a small grunt of protest from the younger one as it sounded like she was shoved aside.

"Mi amigos!" exclaimed the thick voice suddenly, "Let these fine people in, right now!"

 

The door swung open unexpectedly to reveal two very interesting characters standing in the doorway. The first I laid eyes on was short. And I mean comically short. He had to be the man they'd mentioned earlier; the one they'd given up looking for. He was surprisingly brawny, like he'd been cut from a chunk of sandstone. Despite the muscle, he still looked like he could fit inside a suitcase, easily. He also looked like the sort of guy that would punch your lights out for mentioning his height discrepancy. The brass knuckles he clenched in one of his fists solidified that thought.

The other was a thin, scrappy-looking girl with fiery red hair. The gatekeeper, I assumed. She observed each of us with her bright green eyes, adjusting the goggles strapped to her head with… what appeared to be a robotic arm.

_What could she have gotten into to cause that?_

The tarnished, punkish clothing, metal chokers, and defiant glint in her eyes all screamed _rebellious teen_. Whoever the hell let someone so young on a planet like this had to have been almost as psychotic as I was.

"What a surprise, I thought you all died!" The short one held his beefy arms out, flashing us a unexpectedly white smile. I couldn't help but notice an open bullet wound in his right shoulder and the blood staining his orange shirt around it. But it seemed that I was taking more notice of it than he was.

"Salvador! We thought _you_ died!" Said the siren, returning the excited greeting. The group of them all shared in a round of nervous, sitcom-quality laughter. They were still pretty shook up from the train explosion and nearly freezing to death, obviously.

"Please." Salvador waved it off nonchalantly, "It takes a lot more than that to kill me. Same goes for you guys, huh?”

"Heh, yeah." she siren chuckled and sighed wistfully, "You must've come to before we did."

"Yeah, me and her woke up a while ago to some annoying robot… speaking of which, where'd he go off to?" The short one looked over at the teeny-looking girl questioningly, but she only shrugged.

"I dunno, he said he was getting us drinks. Oh, man, he's gonna be stoked to meet more vault hunters!"

"Wait a second…" said Axton, holding out a scar-dotted arm, "if you guys were up before we were, how did you not see us? We were spread out all over the crash site." The two new vault hunters exchanged vacant glances, slowly realizing their mistake. "We were out there looking for survivors for hours!" Axton's voice hit a higher tone of disbelief. The short man scratched his chin thoughtfully and stared at his feet.

"Look for survivors… that was probably a good idea." he mumbled. Axton and the siren looked down on him in shock.

"Well, uh, hey! Sorry about that!" offered the redhead, "How about we all head inside and talk it out! It's pretty damn cold out here, right?!" The vault hunters all mumbled in agreement and started shuffling through the doorway as the girl excitedly gestured them in. A little warmth sounded wonderful to me at that point, especially due to my strictly-enforced embargo on shirts. My way inside, however, was blocked by the redheaded girl.

The assassin went stiff when the girl stepped in front of him and extended her hand. "Hey Guy, no hard feelings right? I'm a big fan."

He didn't respond. He only stared down at the hand, cocking his head to the side as if he didn't quite understand the meaning of it. Without a word, he ducked away from her and followed after the others down the icy, disheveled corridor. The girl shrugged to herself and sent a smile my way. "Well come on in why don'tcha? I think we were just about to have some snacks!" She jogged ahead and motioned for me to follow her.

 

I stepped forward haltingly, my twitching suddenly becoming more violent than usual.

_What's the matter with you?_

I ran my shaking fingers along the blade of my axe, staring down at it hungrily before fixing my gaze on the backs of the vault hunters.

_Ohhh no. You're not laying a finger on any one of them._

I made a strangled, desperate noise. It'd been who knows how long since I killed something.

_You're not forgetting our little agreement, are you?_

I ground my teeth so hard that they creaked.

_You'll find something to kill soon enough. On this planet? Trust me, you won't have to wait long._

 

I groaned in resignation and followed the others, my nostrils twitching as I caught the familiar smell of rotting flesh again. We entered a makeshift living room. The odor was strong, but it was considerably warmer inside the walls constructed of ice and garbage. Corpses were everywhere, laying beside the furnace, slumped on the dingy sofas, The soft light of a furnace lit up the room, casting a reddish light on the bodies. Disturbingly so, they looked like they were posed by someone.

"I have beverages!" sang an unfamiliar voice.

Everyone turned their attention to a little robot that came wheeling in, holding a tray with several cups on it. I'd seen that model before. One or two broken ones lying around the wastelands I mean. I'd never actually seen a functioning steward bot before. It observed each of us with its optic, rocking back and forth on its singular wheel.

"Uhh… did you two invite friends?" It asked in a shrill voice.

"Claptrap, hey! These guys are other vault hunters from the train we were on!" said the redheaded girl enthusiastically. The cups nearly clattered off the tray as the robot hopped on its wheel excitedly.

"Holy skagsuck, what does that make? Six of you? Jack really dropped the ball this time! Welcome, mighty vault hunters, to my humble abode! Sorry about the rotting corpses and lifeless Claptrap units I talk to to distract from my crippling loneliness! If I knew this place was going to become the barracks for my minion army I would've cleaned up!" The redhead let out a loud snort at that comment, but it took no notice. It held the tray out to us eagerly. "Please, take a drink, near-death experiences always leave me parched!" The vault hunters gathered around Claptrap, each taking a cup for themselves from his tray. They frowned when they noticed the thick liquid sloshing around in the cups was oil, not black coffee.

 

"Thanks…" Axton mumbled halfheartedly. The short man, Salvador, was the only one to actually take a sip. He let it sit in his mouth, briefly considering the taste before spitting it out and glaring at the cup in mild disapproval.

"So, Claptrap," the siren began, leaning on her knees slightly to get to meet the robot's eye-level, "where are we exactly? Before I got on the train I was all the way back in the badlands. Bandit Country."

_I'm pretty sure every country here is Bandit Country._

"This here is the Southern Shelf, Handsome Jack's personal landfill for murdered vault hunters! And also discontinued robot models."

"Landfill…" she echoed dully, "wonderful."

"I've gotta say though…" purred the robot, "Nice tatts, toots." Her friendly expression quickly shifted into a disgusted glare as she realized Claptrap's optic was zeroed in on the exposed patch of her chest. Her tattoos flickered threateningly, but before we all became witnesses to the wrath of a siren, the redheaded girl marched right up to the little robot and stamped her foot on top of it's chassis.

"Hey, pervo-roboto!" she barked, peering down at the AI over her scraped knee, "How 'bout you go get us some real food?!" Claptrap waved its tiny arms around in protest to the weight being pressed down on it.

"I don't have any-" it began, but the girl was quick to cut it off.

"Yeah you do! Unless you'd like to have a little more playtime with DT?" The robot trembled slightly under her shoe, its arms dropping to its sides in resignation. "Off you go then!" she shouted, lifting her foot from the boxy android and giving it an encouraging kick to the side. It whimpered and swiftly wheeled away, disappearing behind a metal flap shaped exactly to fit its model. The redhead gave a curt nod of approval and turned to the siren.

"He's sort of a creep." she said with a crooked grin as she pointed a thumb in the robot's direction, "But I think he's gonna help us get off this berg. Now, if you'll excuse me." The redhead pulled a pencil from behind her ear that was covered in what looked like blood. The siren's mouth shot open to presumably to start asking some questions. But the girl paid her no heed and plopped down on the couch next to the short man. Everyone except for me and him gagged in disgust when she took the pencil and shoved it inside his open bullet wound. I'd seen things that were much more grotesque, but it still wasn’t the most appetizing display.

 

"What are you doing?!" barked the siren as the girl jiggled her pencil around in Salvador's shoulder.

"Trying to get this bullet out. Duh." She rolled her green eyes at the siren's obvious concerns and continued to dig at the wound. While most men would be crying out in pain, this one sat completely still and gave an nonchalant nod.

"That is _really_ not how you do that!"

"Lady, if I can cauterize my own arm stub, I'm sure I can get a measly little bullet!" She jammed the pencil in deeper, emitting a sickening squelching noise. Axton cringed visibly.

"Just… how about I do it? I have some medical training." Salvador sat up in interest at the mention of 'medical training'.

"Hey, I appreciate the effort," he patted his amatuer doctor on the shoulder and offered an encouraging smile, "but how about we give the newbie a shot at it, ah?" She rolled her eyes again and shrugged before getting up and offering the gore-covered pencil to the siren.

"That's fine, I got it" she said waveringly before taking a seat next to the man. She pulled a multipurpose knife from her pocket, switching the protruding blade out for a metal pick. She began working at the wound deftly, her argent eyes falling into a focused, half-lidded expression as she carefully tried to coax the bullet out. I couldn't help but notice the tiny white fleck of a snowflake that had settled into her long, dark lashes. It was starting to melt in the firelight, threatening to drip on her pale cheek. A passing thought had the impossible idea of gently wiping it away with the pad of my thumb.

 

"Introductions!" The redheaded girl announced loudly. I startled back to attention and turned my head to see everyone had taken a seat in the couches around the fireplace after shoving the corpses from the threadbare cushions. The girl was smiling widely as she pointed at the soldier.

"Starting with you! Who the hell are ya'?"

"Ahm..." the man stared down at the cup the robot had handed him. It was chipped, leaking oil onto the dingy saucer. "I'm Axton."

"And?" she asked.

"And what?"

"Give us some background info here! How'd you end up here on this lovely berg on Pandora, Mr. Axton?" The girl extended her hand as if she was holding a microphone to his mouth. Axton swallowed and shuffled awkwardly in his seat.

"I'm in a, um… mission for- I mean..." he trailed off and stared down at the rippling oil. After a brief pause he cleared his throat and set his cup on the floor. "I'm Axton. I was with Dahl's military. Went AWOL, ended up doing some bounty hunting here. That answer your question?” he asked gruffly.

"More or less, yeah.” she said with a smile, "Okay, let’s just go clockwise. Ninja guy, you're up next!"

"I am called Zero," he answered, his robotic voice sounding somewhat irritated, "I came here for a challenge, maybe some loot too."

"A ninja named Zero? Whoof, how original..." she murmured, rolling her eyes. His helmeted head snapped in her direction and she grinned sheepishly. "Would you like to share anything else with the group?"

"No." he flatlined.

"Of course you don't. Next!" The siren glanced up from Salvador's arm and pushed her hair away from her face, realizing it was her turn.

"I'm Maya." she said with a light smile before bending back down to pay attention to the wound.

 

_Maya._

Simple, yet elegant. A very fitting name in my opinion. Not to say I thought she was simple. She seemed very intelligent, definitely more so than I'd ever hope to be. But I digress. I rolled the name over and over in my head, as if I was afraid I'd forget it. I didn't have much trust in my memory those days.

"Wait, before you start," giggled the redhead, "I gotta know where you got those sick tattoos."

"I was born with them." she answered simply, sounding a bit distracted. A triumphant smile played across her lips, signalling that she'd found the bullet. The short man only winced slightly as she worked at tugging the pesky thing out.

"So, you're a siren right?" Axton asked, "I mean, I saw you use your powers on the train, but..."

She didn’t look up from the bullet wound, drawling out an uneasy-sounding, “Yyyep.”

"That's friggin' kickass!" Salvador shouted approvingly, pumping his fist and jostling Maya's delicate work. She shot him a mildly annoyed glare before he settled back down and mumbled a quick apology.

"Uh…. yeah…" Axton interjected; he seemed far less excited, "Just watch your back, okay? You have no idea how many bounties are on your head." Maya's eyes widened at him as if to ask if he was being serious, but the grim expression he wore provided her answer.

"Sooo how about that life story?" Maya quirked an eyebrow at the redhead as she leaned back into the couch cushions, resting her robotic arm languidly behind her head.

"Ahh, do I really have to? It's not that interesting."

"I mean, I'm not gonna force it out of you, because you could probably turn my brain into turd or some crazy shit like that! Buuut if we're going to be colleagues, I think it's highly important we know about eachothers' dark pasts."

"Alright then, I'm from Athenas." She sounded like she was going to continue, but the girl was quick to cut her off again.

"Oh shit, the cult planet Athenas? I watched a mini-doc on that!"

"Yeah. I lived in a monastery there-well, I was raised there. I left recently to start living life on my own." I listened intently from the seat I'd taken on the floor beside the couch. Outwardly, I grunted as I rummaged through a pile of trash I was sitting in, thankfully occupied for the time being. As for Maya… she didn't strike me as the 'monk' type. After seeing her splatter that engineer's brain matter across the train car's floor, that wasn't really the first notion that came to my mind. I _do_ faintly remember watching a movie about a bunch of 'kickass battle monks', but it's accuracy was pretty questionable. I'm getting off topic though.

"Good for you!" bellowed Salvador good-naturedly, taking care not to move this time, "And hey, here on Pandora we accept all religions. Hell, I knew one guy who worshipped a porta-potty!"

"Who the hell worships toilets?" She smirked at him and tilted the tool in her hands, digging it further into his bullet wound.

"Not 'toilets'. Just the one." This earned a light snicker from Maya.

"Enough stories about your crazy acquaintances!" the redhead snapped, a huge grin plastered across her face as she turned to face me. "Hey, muscles! You're next!" She seemed to be referring to me, so I looked up from the moldy book I had been tearing pages out of. It looked like an instruction manual for that annoying robot's model.

"Nyyaaagh! There are no windmills!" I yelled hoarsely, tossing a handful of crumpled-up pages in her general direction. She only blinked as she watched the pages flutter to the floor, waiting for some sort of clarification.

"Umm, he's not really… all there." Maya said delicately. The redhead hummed before turning back to me.

"Nah, I get it buddy." she grinned amiably at me as she leaned over the arm of the couch, "You talk about it when you feel like it, m'kay?"

An awkward silence followed as I continued to dig through the garbage, tossing anything I couldn't easily break or tear in half over my shoulder. They were waiting for me to say something, but for some reason I decided to not be social.

_I guess I'll go ahead and start._

Of course they couldn't hear me, but I continued anyways. For… whatever reason.

_My name is Krieg. I think. I've been living on Pandora for a while, but my memory's gone to shit these days so I'm not quite sure for how long or where I came from. I escaped from a slag experimentation lab and I've been running rampant on a psychotic killing spree ever since. Please excuse my outbursts, I'm really a pretty mellow guy. Just bare with me and I'll try my best not to kill you._

 

By the time the thought was finished, they'd turned their backs to me and resumed swirling their cups of oil around or holding their hands closer to the rumbling furnace.

"Heh, just look at you all." Salvador chuckled, breaking the silence, "You guys look like a bunch of abandoned skag pupsss-ahh!" He hissed as a small, bloody pellet finally popped from the hole in his shoulder. Maya grinned in satisfaction at it for a few seconds before tossing it off and holding a hand out to the soldier.

"Hand me another hypo."

"But-"

"I don’t want to deal with infections here, c’mon." He complied, looking mildly guilty. I'd imagine someone like him was all too familiar with rationing supplies to make them last. Maya gingerly pressed the needle into his shoulder, injecting a small amount of the glowing liquid into the wound. The flesh knitted itself back together obediently, and Salvador smiled his thanks.

"Gracias, I was starting to think I'd just have to let that one sit in there." he sighed in relief and patted the bloody patch of his torn shirt, "So uh, what was I saying?"

"Something about how we looked lost and pathetic?" offered Gaige.

"Oh yeah! I was just saying, I deal with kind of shit daily. Believe it or not I was born and raised here, native Pandoran! Frig, if I had a dollar for every time someone tried to blow me up with five hundred kilos of C4… I'd have five dollars!"

"That must've saved on travel expenses." Axton commented, "I'm surprised you've only started to go vault hunting now."

"No no, my friend, you misunderstand. Sure, some riches from the vault would be great. But my real target is the son of a bitch that tried to shoot up my hometown." He clenched the brass knuckles in his fist, speaking slowly with a rumbling determination, "Jack."

My head jerked the minute I heard the name as my hand closed tightly around an empty soda can I'd found. It crinkled noisily, and for a moment I was terrified that I'd make another scene. I glanced around the room with murderous intent, but _he_ was nowhere to be seen or heard. Just a bunch of Vault Hunters. I settled down, thankfully.

"I think all of us are holding a bit of a grudge against that man at this point." murmured Maya.

"Good then!" he chuckled darkly, "Then I can count on you!"

Axton mumbled out, "Count on us to-?"

"Blah blah, my turn!" the redhead cut in, commanding everyone's attention with a few snaps of her metallic fingers. Salvador didn't seem to mind the interruption, he only waved a hefty hand to signal the floor was all hers. She took the moment to start on an animated whirlwind of an introduction.

"Okay! Name's Gaige! So, before I came to Pandora I lived on Eden 5 and went to a really shitty high school there. I built this kickass robot for the science fair, but freaking _Marcy Holloway_ stole my idea and cheated to get first place. I got third place. Third. Freaking. Place. So of course I called her out on her shit! The bitch shoves me in the shoulder, and DeathTrap liquified her! Like, she straight up exploded! Oh my god! I think I brought the shirt with her bloodstains on it, I've gotta show you guys!"

"Woah woah woah," interrupted Axton, "Try slowing down a bit." She took this opportunity to catch her breath before beginning again at a much slower tempo.

"I built. DeathTrap. Bitchface Mcgee. Stole my. Idea."

"What's DeathTrap?" She sighed loudly, as if Axton's questions were asking far too much of her.

"He's my extremely awesome, hand-built death-bot that kicks a serious amount of ASS! I'd show him off, but he's recharging right now. Don't let Clappy know that though!" She flashed him a wry smile and a wink. Everyone still stared at her, considering her story in silence. I wondered whether or not she was bluffing about the supposed death-bot. "So, we all caught up then? Introduced? Zorro, windmill guy, anything else to add?"

"It's Zero!"

"It's a saucy sort of sickness!"

"Cool! So… now what?"

 

 

The group shifted in their seats glancing between one another and the icy floor. I finally lifted my head from the garbage pile and glared at them. Without any sort of warning aside from an irritated grunt, I took my axe from the ground and lobbed it at the wall before me. Ice splintered and shattered from the place where it had hit as the vault hunters jumped slightly in surprise. I only casually stood back up and went to wrench it out of the wall.

"You know how to mangle, don't you STEVE?!" I barked, taking a moment to glance at them over my shoulder before making my way to the shoddy metal door Claptrap had disappeared behind. A resounding clang filled the room as I gave the door a harsh kick, my metal-tipped boot leaving a sizable dent. The robot poked back through the flap and waved its little arms frantically.

"Hold on, just a second!" I paid the robot no attention and brought my foot down on the door again.

"RELEASE THE BEAST!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, "RELEASEITRELEASEITRELEASEIT!"

"I can get the door open! Cut it out! One second!" The robot tapped at the keys of a control panel and the door gave a low groan in response. It slowly lifted from the ground, but I kept kicking it until it was too high to reach with my foot. The dents I'd left in it screwed up the mechanism, to the point where the door got caught and stuck just a bit lower than my neck. I had to duck in to enter, but I was out.

I chuckled and loomed over the robot, lowering my axe to tap it on the head a few times with the blade. I was a little surprised at what seemed to be an affectionate gesture, but the moment was soon over. With a malicious cackle, I grabbed it from the top of it's chassis and threw it across the room, sending it crashing against a nearby pile of boxes as it screamed for its synthetic life.

"I love it when you grovel, DO IT AGAIN!" I grinned like a maniac underneath my mask and clanged the blade of my axe against the icy floor.

_Would it kill you to tone it down?!_

"Aw c'mon Muscles, you're letting all the cold air in!" Gaige called after me.

"I can appreciate your enthusiasm minion, but jeez!" squealed the robot. It brushed snow and bits of garbage from its chassis before lifting itself up and wheeling out of the pile of rubbish. "You're lucky all that noise didn't attract any bullymongs!"

A distant, animalistic roar could be heard. The group of us all fell to silence as it echoed through the icy chamber. Before the robot could make a comment along the lines of 'Oops, spoke too soon!', the redhead lept from the couch and cackled excitedly. "I'm guessing that's a bully-man! What are they like?" A loud creaking noise echoed through the room, then another growl. This one sounded distinctly closer.

"Bout' to find out, sister." Sal mumbled, a grin slowly spreading over his scarred face.

 

The next few minutes happened very quickly, so forgive me if I'm not descriptive enough. But yeah, just about the biggest bullymong I've ever had the displeasure of seeing sailed in through a hole in the chamber's roof. It roared deafeningly at us, spittle flying from it's exposed mandibles. (I recall a glob of it splattering across Zero’s helmet.) But instead of going for us, the bullymong snatched the robot from where it stood. The group looked on with widened eyes as it jammed its calloused fingers around the bot's optic and ripped it from the socket in one swift motion. Claptrap cursed shrilly as the beast tossed it to the ground. With that, the animal took the optic and lept back through the skylight.

I lowered my axe as the creature disappeared into the night. "AWWWWW!" I whined loudly, disappointed at the prospect of losing such a worthy opponent. My head swung around to glare at the vault hunters accusingly, as if it was their fault.

"Huh…" Salvador lowered his fists to hike his belt up casually, "That's weird." The robot whimpered quietly as it tried to lift itself from the snow. A spark or two flew from the exposed wires hanging from its optic socket.

"What's weird?" Gaigie had a hammer in her hand, still raised in a fighting stance. She also seemed to be disappointed by the monstrous bullymong's departure.

"They usually prefer meat over metal. Surprised the bastard didn't go for us." the man chuckled as he strode over to where the robot was slowly lifting itself back up on its wheel. "Ey, did you and ugly have a personal dispute or something? 

"I don't wanna talk about it." the robot answered weakly as it put one of its 'hands' over the sparking wires. It tilted forward, its other arm hanging limply at its side. "I am… blind. Yep! Completely blind! Guess we can't get off the glacier now. Oh well. I hear getting eaten alive by bullymongs isn't such a bad way to go." The group exchanged looks with one another, a surprised silence falling over them. A silence that was soon broken by the redhead. It seemed to be a habit of hers.

"Man, fuck that! I'm not staying here, it's cold as crap!" Gaige holstered her hammer and started to stride off defiantly.

"Hey don't forget that yours truly is some grade A Hyperion tech!" Claptrap yipped, "You guys won't be able to get through the security without my impressive hacking know-how!" She stood still beside me before she could duck through the door to leave.

The robot had a point… sort of. I mean, I've always been content to slash through any Hyperion goons that got in my way. But the high-grade, impenetrable, electrified, turret-mounted gateways… if the robot could get us through those, it’d be pretty damn useful.

"What do you want us to do then?" Maya asked evenly. She seemed to have a similar idea.

"Well… if you kids got my eye back for me, I could guide you through this rakk-hole no problem!" Zero shook his head at the bot before stiffly turning and walking to a nearby cardboard box.

"A waste of my time." he stated flatly, "Your help is not required. I'll find my own way." Axton and Maya exchanged a look before the former spoke up.

"You're going off by yourself?"

"It's better this way. Less distractions and chatting. I shall depart soon." The assassin fished a pack of pistol rounds from the box and quickly pocketed it before digging to search for more supplies. Axton shrugged before turning to Claptrap.

"Welp, I guess I'll help you get it back. Hell knows we could use some directions."

"Better than directions, my rippling friend!" chirped the robot, clearly excited by the idea of having followers, "I have a boat on the glacier's edge! We can drive it right to the mainland!"

"So we kill the bullymong and you’ll help us." stated Maya. "How are we going to defend ourselves though? That thing looked like it could tear us limb from limb, no effort."

"Oh! I've got just the thing!" Claptrap said excitedly. It held its arms out as it wheeled around past us, but even with the effort it still hit a piece of shrapnel and tripped forward, it's chassis clanging loudly into a cabinet that was lying on its side in the snow. It felt for the handle before clumsily swinging the door open and fishing a small object from inside. "Found it!" he exclaimed triumphantly, holding a pistol high in the air. A little underwhelming, though; it was a small, rusted, dinky excuse for a gun. Hardly enough to take down a full grown bullymong.

_Think I'll stick with the axe._

Salvador took the gun and looked it over appraisingly. He wasn't at all impressed. The assassin stood up suddenly and turned to look at us, his neck bending at a nearly unnatural angle as he did so.

"So all you with Claptrap, you're planning to fight that beast? Just with that pistol?" he queried. Axton only offered a shrug.

"Yeah, I guess.”

"I... do love a challenge." The assassin seemed to have a change of heart. He followed as the group of us started making our way to the door. The rush of cold air sent a new chill through my being. I was looking forward to getting away from it. Unless the robot was bluffing about the supposed boat. Either way, we had a bullymong to track down.


	4. I CANT BREATHE AAAAAGH

The boat gave a long, low creak as it crested another wave. Axton groaned along with it, leaning his head over the side of the vessel. He'd been overcome by seasickness ever since we got on, the poor guy. The others seemed to be doing better. Gaige was carefully modifying her monster of a robot. Salvador was taking a nap on a pile of crates, snoring loudly and cuddling his guns lovingly. Zero was nowhere to be seen, which sort of made me nervous.

As for me, I sat at the back of the vessel, twitching and fidgeting while I ran my fingers along the blade of my buzz axe. I'd gone at least five hours without killing something. _I_ loved the peace and quiet, but my other half was growing increasingly frustrated. Hopefully the lack of violence wouldn't be too much of a problem. It'd been so long since I've felt a sense of companionship. Granted, most of the Vault Hunters didn't trust me, I couldn't blame them. It was a good thing Maya stuck up for me, even if I didn’t deserve it.

Speaking of Maya, I could hear her voice carrying over the sounds of waves crashing against the hull like a faint melody. I peered cautiously around the cabins to see her sitting nonchalantly at the front of the boat. Her flawless complexion was framed by strands of elegant cobalt hair that swayed gently with the biting wind. The slightest of smiles played across her lips as she switched her device off and returned her gaze to the darkening horizon.

_Crud, when did I start thinking so… poetically?_

She was just finishing up an echo diary recording. Well, I assume she was. No, I wasn’t eavesdropping, it was just a small boat. And perhaps I heard one or two lines about her trying to find out more about Siren lineage by accident. I could try to help her with that, I decided. It was the least I could do after what she did for me. She might've been the only person on the planet who trusted me. I couldn't risk losing that trust.

_Alright, this is one of the few quiet moments that we're going to get on this madhouse of a planet. I need you to work with me for once._

"Shut up Johnny, I don't NEED your horseradishes!" I spit out the words as if I'd been holding them in for days. I knew being stuck on a boat with no bandits to disembowel was going to put me in a bad mood, but I sounded extremely infuriated. It was not a good time to try and debate with myself, but I knew I probably wouldn't get another chance like this.

_Cut the crap for five minutes will you? This is my… self and I'll be calling the shots around here. You can go and murder plenty of criminals tomorrow, but right now it's my turn. Got it?_

"Spleen hockey?" I asked aloud hopefully. I had to barter with myself.

_Yeah fine, there'll be plenty of spleen hockey and ribcage rugby tomorrow. Just listen to me right now. Walk over there._

I complied, standing up awkwardly and trudging across the deck. I couldn't help but notice the suspicious glances the Vault Hunters were giving me. I cocked my head to the side, noisily cracking my neck as I approached her. She turned her head, a bit startled by the distasteful noise. I tried not to think about how maniacal I looked to her.

"Hey." she greeted with a smile. I was immediately reconsidering everything. It was a stupid idea, a bad idea, a terrible idea. And yet, I'd already managed to drag myself over there. I had gotten that far.

 

_Tell her that I'm glad I met her._

"Pepperoni skag anuses!" I shouted far too excitedly. Her eyebrows scrunched together and she tried to stifle an adorable snort of laughter. I wanted to throw myself into the ocean right then and there.

_Oh god, are you even trying? Tell her that she's too good for this shitty planet._

I gave it another shot, yelling like a lunatic and motioning at her with the frightening buzz saw. "I'd let you ride my meat bicycle anytime!" Her smile wilted to an expression of pure confusion and discomfort before she tried to force it back, solidifying my embarrassment.

_That… sort of sounded like a compliment. If not a disgusting innuendo. I suppose we're getting somewhere at least. How about you try saying 'Thank you.' Can you do that?_

"Nipple… salads!" For some reason thank you always seemed to translate to that.

_No! Thank you. Thank. You. Two words. Super simple stuff here._

I growled aloud in frustration and buried my head in my hands, clawing at the back of my neck in an attempt to pull the voice out of my head. I… he could try all he wanted, _I_ wasn't going anywhere. No, if I wanted to put an end to this bullshit, I had to start taking charge.

_Do not shut down on me again! If you can say 'turn around' you can say thank you! Do it and I'll stop bothering you, I promise!_

"Thank…yyyyuuuaaagh..." The word drizzled out of my mouth like a broken faucet. I glanced up fearfully to gauge her reaction. She looked surprised, but smiled even wider now. I can imagine she'd be delighted to finally understand a word coming out of my mouth since our meeting by the train.

"No problem big guy." she laughed. I sighed in relief. I didn't screw things up as badly as I expected to. I mean, I could've tried to strangle her on the spot for God's sake. "By the way… do you have a name? Something I can call you?" Nobody had ever asked for my name before. They were usually too busy running away from me.

_C’mon, you know our name. That's the one thing we didn't forget._

"Krieg."

_Good boy._

"Well Krieg, thank you for saving my skin back there. And sorry for shooting at you." She inclined her head to me before she put me on the spot again with that subtle, kind smile. I felt a rush of adrenaline normally reserved for facing something terrifying like a starving thresher, the feeling so strong that I turned right on my heel and put some distance between the two of us. Then I stopped, staring at the deck and swaying with the rocking boat. It took a few seconds to register everything.

 

_Holy shit, did we just have a conversation?!_

By most standards, that nonsensical jabber was not a conversation. By my standards, that was totally a conversation, and I was the happiest psychopath on Pandora. If I was more in-control physically, my pulse would be hammering at a mile-a-minute, I'd be sweating all over, and I'd be smiling like an idiot. Well, I might've already been doing that anyways. I didn't really notice.

_Oh my god… thank you so much for that. I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am with you._

"SHUTTUP AND LEAVE!" I hollered and kicked an empty barrel over, clearly exasperated with the whole 'trying to communicate on friendly terms with a human being' thing. I did promise that I'd shut up, though. The others clutched their guns and kept their eyes trained on me as I stomped to my original sitting place. Once again, I couldn't blame them. I slumped to the floor and tried to busy myself by repeatedly driving my buzz axe into a nearby crate. Hopefully the splintering wood would make a good substitute for splintering bones.

I couldn't believe my luck. I made five friends. (Could I call them friends? Maybe friends by my standards.) I saved a life instead of taking one for once, and I had a slightly intelligible conversation. I'd never made so much progress since… well, never. It really dawned on me at that point; if anyone was going to put an end to my insansity (or at least make it more bearable) it was her.


	5. WHEN THE AXE HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A MEAT PIZZA FLY THATS AGOOOOORE

I'd heard of Sanctuary in passing a few times. Mainly from chatting bandits, radio ads, and propaganda posters. As far as I knew it was a town run by some vault hunters turned freedom fighters, and he-who-shall-not-be-named wanted it blown to bloody rubble. I never thought I'd end up within its walls, surrounded by people who fought for a noble cause. I  _especially_ never thought I'd be counted as one of them.

When we arrived at Sanctuary, the vault hunters all went off to discuss strategies with the Raiders' leaders while I settled down for a nap. (I'm not much help when it comes to strategic discussions.) Once I woke up, I immediately started walking the streets to get a lay of the land.

The Crimson Raiders I'd heard so much about now walked beside me, albeit with a good breadth between us. Several turned their heads to watch me trudge across the pavement. The ones that didn't have their helmets on stared at me with wide eyes, obviously wondering how an overgrown psycho managed to sneak his way into their walls. But they were either too intimidated or too unconcerned to do anything about it.

Now what looked like a bar was ahead of me, and I was getting a little worried. I had been trying to steer myself as far away from civilization as I could, but I suppose it was only a matter of time before that neon-decorated watering hole attracted my attention. I walked up the stairs two steps at a time, passing a couple comatose soldiers as I went. Once I reached the open doorway, my hulking frame cast a long shadow along the floor. The place was musty and a bit cramped. Evening was approaching, and the place was fairly crowded. A number of the bar's patrons paused their conversations to stare at me in confusion, worry, or hostility. It was the perfect time to make another shining public introduction

"EVERYBODY LOOK AT MY PECS!" I howled and swung an arm back so violently that my elbow collided with the doorframe with a painful crack. I felt the harsh ache in my arm, but my other half didn't seem to notice, confidently striding into the bar as I was fixed with even more horrified glances. I seemed to be imitating the walk of a spur-wearing desperado, my heavy footsteps sending ripples into the drinks of every patron. The embarrassing scene continued all the way to the bar counter, where I plunked myself down onto one of the undersized stools and just… sat there, confusingly. I could feel my worry growing; there was no way to predict how I might behave in this kind of setting.

 

I caught a glimpse of blue in the corner of my eye, which brought my attention to a particular booth. There sat three familiar faces; Axton, Salvador, and Maya, comfortably lounging in their seats with bottles in hand. They all smiled, their attention turned to Salvador as he spoke with energetic hand gestures.

"-and the guy, you should've seen'im! Looking at me like I was the Grim friggin' Reaper!" he belted out with a grin, "I didn't even have to pull my gun out, the pendejo just goes running!" The other two laughed out loud, Axton slapping the table and Maya leaning her head back. A snort escaped from her mid-laughter and it felt like my heart jolted in my chest.

_God, I'm a walking cliche._

"So. I hear you're with the vault hunters." said a very sultry voice close to my ear. I yanked my head in its direction, only to jump a bit when I saw a woman standing right on the other side of the counter. The bartender didn't seem to mind my apprehension and leaned in very closely, allowing me to get a good look at her heavily made-up face along with her prominently displayed… assets. Though I felt sure I'd never met her before, there was something extremely familiar about her.

Then it hit me. How could have I forgotten? It was Mad Moxxi, in the flesh. I'd seen that same face plastered all over the walls of countless bandit camps. She was somewhat of a celebrity on this planet. I think she used to host an arena-style gladiator show? Pandorans love that kind of shit.

"You must've had a long day sweetie. What'll you have? Some ale? A back rub?" Her teeth sank into her lower lip as her eyes trailed from my face down my muscled torso. My mind drew a blank at her odd behavior before it finally registered that the woman might've been  _flirting_  with me, of all things.

_Oh. Wow. Maybe I should start wearing a shirt._

My other half seemed just as confused about how to respond as I was, sitting on the stool with stiff posture as I leaned away from her slightly. After a brief pause I sat forward and narrowed my eye at her with suspicion. Hopefully outer me wouldn't perceive this as some sort of threat.

"I've heard talk around the city that you're dangerous." she murmured in an even lower voice, giving me a devilish look. "I happen to  _like_  dangerous." If I was in control of my own vocal chords, I'd laugh out loud. Moxxi, one of the most sought-after women on Pandora, making a pass at  _me!_  If those lonely bandits and their tissue boxes could've seen me then.

_Ah hah… I don't think you'd like this kind of 'dangerous'. Maybe some-_

"I like the red splatters on their backs' eyes!" I blurted, with such a sudden intensity that Moxxi took a quick step backwards. Her smile was gone in an instant. "I LIKE HOW THE SAND SCREAMED! I  **LOVE**  HOW THEIR SKIN SPL-LLLLLIT!"

I was yelling, but not loud enough to be heard too much over the din of the bar. The vault hunters noticed though. The three of them were watching me from their booth, Axton mumbling something I couldn't hear before the other two nodded. Definitely not embarrassing at all. I turned back to Moxxi, who was standing a bit further off than before. She patted the counter and gave me a cool smile. "You just let me know if you need a drink or something." she said quietly before she moved on to serve another customer. I scoffed, mentally.

_Wow, buddy. You're a real charmer, aren't you?_

There was no outward response from me other than a noisy sniff. Then another. A familiar smell was drifting into my nostrils, one that made my mouth water. I breathed in deeply, trying to track the source of the heavenly smell. I stumbled off the stool and wandered through the bar, letting my nose guide me. Bargoers made small noises of protest as I shoved them aside. My quest ended at a table where three people in beat-up red armor sat. Their helmets were tossed aside, and they smiled and laughed with one another as they sat around a box containing something I hadn't seen in quite a while; a large pepperoni pizza.

_Well, would you look at that. Real food… I think._

I grabbed the entire pizza without hesitation. "Hey!" one of the raiders yelped. I ignored her and pushed my mask up to expose my mouth, shoving the food inside. It hung from my mouth, dripping grease on the floor as I stalked down the rows of tables like a predator hauling away a freshly-hunted carcass.

"Hey jackass, that's ours!" one of the other diners shouted, but I paid him no mind. I only turned around when I felt someone tap me in the back. I snarled, baring my teeth around the melted cheese as I glowered down behind me. The raider stood frozen with his clenched fists raised. It appeared that he actually had punched me, not tapped me. Either way, my hand brushed over the handle of my axe.

_No, you can't kill him!_

I growled aloud in frustration and instead abruptly swung at him with my fist. There was an audible crack when it connected with his face. A jet of red erupted from his nose and he cried in pain, reeling backwards onto the dingy wood flooring. His hand clapped over his now-crooked nose, staring down at the blood in shock before looking back up to me. I could only imagine how unnerving I looked. I took the fist I'd hit him with and slowly smeared his blood across my chest, staring him very deliberately as I did it.

"OHHHHH YEAH! Bout time you bled, BABY!" tore from my throat, the pizza dropping from my mouth as I puffed out my bloody pecs. The entire bar seemed to recoil.

"Holy fuck! I thought we drove all the psychos out last week!" one of his friends cried. They quickly bent down to grab his arm and start dragging him away from me. I snarled in protest, taking a few threatening steps toward them.

"Krieg, c'mon! Cut it out!" I heard Maya's voice snap at me, but I didn't even look her way.

The bar patrons were leaving their seats and crowding around me, jostling each other as they shouted a chorus of, "You're gonna pay for that!" and, "You want of piece of this?!" and, "Go die in the wastelands, Bloodshot!" Several of them were pulling guns or knives from their holsters, and I was quick to respond, tugging my axe from my belt and letting out an animal-like roar.

The raiders shouted louder. Some gun barrels were aimed at me. My head started to beat out a steady pulse of dull pain, and the voices I was hearing from all directions blended together into an awful din. I realized they were starting to multiply, accompanied by demonic tones that whispered violent words. I couldn't differentiate between what was an angry Sanctuary citizen and what was a disembodied voice created by my own broken mind. Outwardly, I screamed some sort of angry, garbled plea for all of them to just shut up.

 

A blast of air hit me before I could put my axe to work. The voices died down suddenly as I floated upwards and stayed suspended, upside down, several feet above the ground. The bargoers standing below me watched with slack jaws, looking just as confused as I was. I tried to struggle, but my arms and legs were held in place by some strange force. Even my lungs felt suddenly tight and constricted. I found myself struggling to breathe instead of yelling angrily. The only things I could move were my eyes. My gaze flicked to the table were the vault hunters had been sitting and there stood Maya, one foot on the table, clutching a shining sphere of blue in her hand. Axton and Salvador sat at either side of her, unable to help staring at her glowing tattoos.

"Shhhh…" She held a finger to her lips, staring at each of the patrons as if she was daring them to speak. "Everyone settle down. Put away your guns." The dumbfounded drunks didn't say a thing, but their weapons lowered one by one. If there was an official rulebook for surviving the known galaxy, 'Don't fuck with a Siren' would definitely be featured on the first page, in bold. Even barely-sane Pandorans knew that.

"Good." she said evenly, "Now, I'm going to have to release him in about seven seconds. I want all of you to leave by then." The crowd started to quietly murmur to one another, some of them giving her incredulous looks. "Or… I will pop your brains like grapes." she lowered her voice to a threatening growl that sent a shiver down my neck. Her elaborate tattoos glowed a brighter shade of cyan for added effect. Fiercely beautiful.

"She'll do it! I've seen her!" Axton added in the most deadly serious tone he could muster. The would-be bar brawlers finally started to file out of the crowded space, one by one until the bar was empty. Maya took a moment to smile and nod at Axton gratefully.

_Wait, can sirens not actually do that?_

Right on time the bubble dispelled and I fell, one of my shoulders hitting the floor with a heavy thud. I took in gasping breaths of air as soon as I was free, propping myself up on my elbows as I worked on regaining my breath. "Thanks for that, sugar. I'm not in the mood to be cleaning any blood off the counter tonight." Moxxi quipped with a tone of disinterest.

"Curse the sachartine seahorses…" I muttered to myself as I got back to my feet, casting a look at Maya as I did. Outer me seemed angry with her, but  _I_  was awash with gratitude.

_Really, thank you. That could've been ugly._

And then I could've been kicked out of Sanctuary, ending up back at square one again. If she hadn't intervened I could only assume the worst. She noticed me staring and returned it with a slight glare, slowly shaking her head at me. My gratitude shifted to embarrassment.

_You let her down. She's the only one who trusts us and you let her down again._

"There's aware but he can't care!" I sang with a hint of pride in my voice. I plucked the pizza from the floor and took a seat right on top of one the tables, which creaked under my weight. Despite all the dirt and the footprint someone had left in the cheese, I was content to push up my mask again and start devouring it. I kept my eyes glued to the wall opposite of me, so much that I could barely catch a glimpse of Axton taking several cautious steps towards my table.

"Tell ya what, uh…" he trailed off for a second, confronted by the issue that he had no idea what to call me.

"Krieg." Maya was quick to add. The soldier grimaced as he turned to look at her.

"You named him?"

"No!" she retorted, "He told me it. While we were on the boat."

"Okay then." Axton looked back to me, noisily scratching at the stubble on his chin, "Krieg. How about someone just brings a pizza outside for ya? Instead of you just…" he didn't finish the sentence, simply gesturing to my entire form, hunching protectively over my meal. I turned my gaze to him but said nothing, just chewed. For a few awkward moments we stared eachother down, until I unceremoniously opened my mouth wide to show him a mouthful of chewed-up pizza crust.

Axton just pressed his lips in a tight line and nodded. "Awesome. Good talk." He sighed as he headed off to retrieve his beer. Couldn't blame him, I'd want to drink too. He and Maya wandered out the back entrance, leaving me alone with the last vault hunter in the bar.

Salvador tilted the bottle in his hand from side to side as he wandered up to the table I was perched on. "So… you and Moxxi, eh?" he asked with a wry grin. Again I was left to wonder how an isolated Pandoran like him had such perfect teeth. Outwardly I responded with a loud snort, which caused a cord of mucus to shoot from my nose onto the pizza. Which I proceeded to eat of course. Just delightful. 

The shorter man leaned against my table and murmured, "Probably should've let her down easier than you did." Despite all that had happened, he seemed content to stand beside me and finish his beer to the dulcet tones of me scarfing down lukewarm pizza. I could only let out a long, exhausted, metaphorical sigh.

 _Slow down, will you? You eat like a damn skag_.


	6. ITS THEM!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I complain about 3 being a bloated chapter then put out a MUCH LONGER one. But hey, more stuff happens in this one. Hope you guys like fighting and angst. :v

Salvador, Gaige, Maya, Axton, Zero... and me, for some reason; the six of us came to be known as the newest generation of Vault Hunters, the heroes this shithole planet needed, but most importantly, the most sought-after gofers in Sanctuary. Practically everybody was asking us to run errands for them. It wasn’t like any of them complained about the work though, they were left pretty low on cash and weapons after you-know-who’s attempt on our lives.

But when we were tasked with tracking down the leader of the Crimson Raiders and potentially saving him from the deadliest bounty hunter known to the Borderlands… well, that was a serious, six-vault-hunter job. And with all of us working in tandem, we cut through the bandit camps of Frostburn like hot butter.

 

We were making steady progress through a mess of lean-to’s situated at the bottom of the chasm, gunning and slashing down any Bloodshot or pyromaniac that stood in our way.  “This is almost too easy!” Axton laughed over the copious gunfire. His turret chugged away as it chewed through another flaming psycho. A bullet must have struck one of the incendiary grenades strapped to his side, because as soon as he fell dead his body burst apart in a fiery explosion. Far enough not to hurt any of us, but close enough for me to feel another bloom of warmth in the icy cave.

“Right? I’ve been watching a livestream this whole time!” Gaige called. She didn’t even look up from her ECHO device as she followed along. Her robot, however, was zipping to and fro through the shoddy buildings, slashing and burning through their reinforcements with ease. I just had to get in on the action of course.

With a maniacal cackle I charged past the cyborg teenager and leapt for one of the balconies the bandits were taking cover in. With one arm I swung myself up there and perched on the railing. The four of them stared at me like I was imminent, blundering death.

“You guys, there’s a HUGE psycho up ahead!” I heard Maya call over the sound of the screaming bandits I was hacking apart. Comfortingly, I knew she wasn’t talking about me. As soon as their shrieking came to end I peered past a metal wall in morbid interest. Sure enough a hulking, skull-wearing maniac with a stunted arm was swiftly making his way towards us. The sight of such a big kill got my other half’s full attention.

My boots hit the ground with a heavy thud and I charged again. Spit flying out of my mouth, axe raised in preparation. There were plenty of other bandits skittering through the camp, but they just weren’t as exciting as the big one. “I’LL KNOCK YOUR SKIVVIES HELTER-SKELTER!” came my challenging shout.

The psycho answered in turn with, “BLOOD AND ASH FOR MERCIFUL MOMMY!” Moments like those made me question how different I really was from those psychos. Did _they_ have small pieces of their former selves, trapped within their broken minds and forced to watch as they became mutated killers?

I didn’t have much time to ponder that existential tidbit again, since he was soon close enough to start swinging at me with a giant pipe. My own weapon met his with a metallic scrape that sent sparks flying. The pipe came right back around, but me never being one to dodge I took another swing at him at the same time. He got a gash in his shoulder, while I got a blow to the ribs that had me seeing stars.

“Fuck yeah, take ‘im down Krieg!” came an encouraging shout from Salvador somewhere behind me. I could hear the gunfire around me as the vault hunters focused on picking off the rest of the Bloodshots. I took a moment to blink the skull-wearing psycho back into focus, but he didn’t need the break. He cackled and slammed forward, cracking his skull right into my mask so hard it sent me toppling backwards. With my axe still buried in his shoulder, the jittery brute jumped to pin me down and press the metal pipe down on my throat.

Even with the disorienting pain and lack of air, my hands reached for the handle of my axe. When my fingers brushed along the wood I locked it into a vice-like grip. I choked and gagged but I still pulled downwards, dragging my axe blade into his chest at an agonizingly slow pace. I could feel his warm blood dripping on my body, but he didn’t let up at all. The pipe only crushed my throat harder as he giggled behind the cracked skull.

My lungs were starting to ache, and so was my head. I could hear the feverish whispering in the back of my mind, the telltale sign of me reaching the breaking point. Just as the muscles in my arms started to spasm unnaturally, there was a flash of blue and a rush of air. The weight on my neck and body lifted. I started gulping down fresh air like it was heavenly ambrosia. Above me, the psycho was trapped in another one of Maya’s godsent phaselocks.

Zero’s voice cut above my labored gasping, loud but still monotone. “Weakness analyzed, the iliac arteries.” When there wasn’t an immediate response, he added, “Shoot him in the dick.” Then began the gunfire. I could only watch in oxygen-deprived awe as six guns and a turret unloaded mag after mag directly into the floating psychos groin, in a display that would make the average man keel over and barf. The mutant’s cargo shorts were absolutely decimated by the time he hit the ground, and his body was still.

“That might’ve been a little excessive.” Maya commented. Finally able to breathe normally again, I crawled forward and got back to my feet. The five vault hunters stood behind me, reloading their guns as they checked for any more bandits. Part of me was feeling pretty grateful that I didn’t end up going full mutant in front of them.

Gaige snickered uncontrollably. “Hahahaha, hasta la vista psycho weiner!”  My other half seemed to agree with her, letting out a wheezing growl as I bent to yank my axe out of the dead psycho’s body.  Moments ago I was choking to death and about to shift into a horrible monster, but it seems I shook it off pretty quickly.

 

With that camp cleared we moved forward through the chasm, with Gaige talking loudly the whole way about starting an underground psycho wrestling ring. “You were getting wrecked back there but I still think you’d have a chance to be a big star!” she assured me. “Unless you were pretending to lose, then that’s even better! With that kinda acting talent we could fix SO many fights!” Her enthusiasm was amusing.

_Don’t you have to let your opponents live with wrestling? I don’t think I’d be very good at that, kid._

“I drink caffeinated lizard farts on a DAILY BASIS!” my other half shouted back, matching her exuberance but not the topic at hand.

“Hell yeah dude! You-wh- why are we stopping?” Gaige dropped it mid-thought to scowl at the other vault hunters' backs. Sure enough the group of them had stopped waking. They were staring at the way ahead, which was split by a large rock formation and branching in two very different directions.

“A crossroad ahead, our path to the Firehawk split, but which is correct?” Zero mused aloud.

Axton took several steps ahead to peer down the scope of his rifle. “Huh... no trail marker bodies. More encampments either way.”

“How about we split up three and three? Scout em out and report over the ECHOs.” Gaige suggested. The others murmured in agreement “Cool! I’ll take Maya and Sal.” she pointed animatedly to the path on the left, “Thataway!”

I noticed Axton giving me an apprehensive look at the prospect of being grouped with me, but he didn’t argue. Zero probably wasn’t thrilled either, I couldn’t tell though. The others split off in the correct directions, but I lumbered over to follow Maya, ignoring the planned teams. She looked back at me and raised an eyebrow. “Krieg, the other way.” I halted just to stare at her dumbly.

_Come on you lug, do what she says._

“Nah it’s cool, I’ll switch sides.” Gaige offered with a shrug. As she walked past me to join the other two she grinned at me, tilted her head towards Maya, and winked.

_Uh…_

I was unsure of the meaning of that, but no matter. I couldn’t tell if Maya was annoyed by the roster change. She didn’t hesitate in leading the way down the icy decline. Salvador walked at my side, though he had to quicken his pace to keep up with my long strides. It took a few moments before we could no longer hear the sound of Gaige talking excitedly on the other side of the formation.

 

“Maya! See those domes up ahead?” Salvador piped up suddenly.  

“Yeah?” she responded. I peered at what he was referring to as well, seeing the large, porous mounds situated around the camp ahead of us. I’d definitely seen ones like them before.

“Spiderant nests. Be ready to shoot some bug asses.” he advised, “It’s the one place they aren’t- oh! Is that who I think it is?!” Salvador was distracted by something; he veered off in a different direction and jogged away from me and Maya. We watched him approach some kind of large, bloodstained bulletin board. Nailed to the bullet-ridden wood was a line of bounty posters, featuring some all-too-familiar faces. Mugshots of Salvador, Maya, Zero, and me stared back at us, bordered by our listed crimes and rewards for capture. It wasn’t an unexpected sight, but it still left a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Maya wandered over to stand beside him, while I stood awkwardly in place and fiddled with my buzz axe. “Look, we’re popular! I’ve never had a bounty this high!” Salvador exclaimed as he pointed to his own poster. Well, two posters, since they couldn’t fit all his crimes on one. Maya started reading them aloud.

“Manslaughter, arson, theft, trespassing, can… cannibalism?” she gave the man a very serious, very concerned look. He only blew a raspberry with his lips and waved it off.

“Yeah. They always _say_ you’re gonna get charged for cannibalism, but nine times of ten they’re going to look the other way.” he stated casually. Maya still looked disturbed, and I understood why. I also understood just how overcrowded Pandoran prisons would be if they actually tried to arrest all the cannibals out there. She blinked and shook her head before turning her attention to her own poster.

“Seven hundred billion, now that’s a bounty! He _really_ wants you dead!” Salvador rumbled encouragingly as he fist-bumped Maya’s tattooed arm. She didn’t seem quite as excited.

“For being a siren, of course.” she muttered in disdain.

“A murderer, a douchenozzle, and a racist.” Salvador shook his head disapprovingly and tutted to himself. Maya made no further comment as her eyes trailed to Zero’s poster.

“Political assassinati-oh my god he actually spells his name with a zero.” A snicker-snort escaped her at the revelation it was in fact Zer0, not Zero. I made a mental note of that.

“Agh, mierda!” Sal threw his arms out to gesture at my own mugshot, the one I was hoping they’d ignore. “Kreig beat me out for second place by like, nine billion!”

At the mention of my name I craned my neck higher. No longer content with just watching the two,  I trudged towards them to see what they were so interested by. My crime was printed in bold below a picture of myself I didn’t remember taking, plain as day.

**Property of Hyperion**

I immediately felt nauseated, like my entire world was tilting to an uncomfortable angle. Maya eyed me as soon as she’d read it. “Property?” she echoed, fixing me with her searching gaze. I couldn’t bare to meet it.

_Even if I could talk to you, it’s not worth talking about._

The thought was punctuated by a sharp pain in my temple. My head jerked suddenly like I’d been punched with an invisible fist. “HAYSEED BABYEATER RIP-SCRUNGE!” came rasping out of my throat, and out of nowhere I was lifting my axe high above my head.

_STOP RIGHT NOW WHAT DO YOU-_

The spinning blade struck wood, not flesh. Splinters flew through the air as I carved a huge gash into the bounty board, tearing the poster with my picture on it in half. Maya and Salvador stepped far away from me in their surprise. Again and again I drove my weapon into the wall, messily scoring it until all of the posters were torn to shreds. Then for good measure, I knelt down and started shoving the ripped paper under my mask and into my mouth.

_Fuck, don’t scare me like that! And stop eating paper!_

Regardless of my orders my other half chewed and swallowed every poster piece he could get our calloused fingers on. It tasted better than raw varkid meat, but it still wasn’t _good_.

“Well, at least all these bandits we killed can’t ID us anymore.” Salvador offered, ever on the positive side of life. Maya didn’t respond. I could feel her eyes on me, watching and wondering about my odd behavior, questioning the words on the poster. I hated the feeling. “Egh. Let’s get moving.” Mercifully, Salvador shuffled off and drew one of his guns to get back on task.

She finally turned away from me to follow along. For a moment I just sat there and watched them leave, hunched over and still chewing on paper. The words on the poster were currently being broken down by my own stomach acid, but I still couldn’t get them out of my head.

_Property. That goddamn sociopathic shitstain of a-_

I had to stop myself. Just thinking about it stoking my anger, bringing back thoughts I didn’t have the time or energy to try to remember. I gulped down another piece of chewed up poster, as well as the lump in my throat.

_Get up. We have a job to do._

I got back to my feet and stumbled forward to catch up with them. Back to work. Out of sight, in my stomach, out of mind.

 

The other two were approaching the camp slowly when I reached them. I followed Maya’s suspicious gaze to the ramshackle buildings ahead to realize myself that they seemed… strangely abandoned. No bandits to be seen in the watchtowers or the foldout chairs situated around a long-dead fire.

“Something’s not right.” Maya almost whispered. She and Salvador kept their guns drawn as they made their slow approach. I expected the bandits to start emerging from their little homes at any moment, but none ever did. Soon we were standing in the middle of the settlement, glancing around in confusion. Salvador froze so suddenly I nearly tripped over him.

“Did you guys just feel that?” he asked quickly.

“Feel what?” She glanced between Sal and over her own shoulder. I wasn’t sure what he was referring to either, but my grip tightened around my axe handle.

Then, I did feel it. The ground vibrated, like something huge was moving just beneath us. To my right I saw the icy earth burst open, pierced by two enormous, dark claws. They were quickly followed by the crested head of a truly monstrous spiderant. It shrieked at the three of us with vicious, flesh-eating intent.

“AW FRIG, they moved their burrows over here!” Salvador shouted way too loudly for his own good. The spiderant’s eyeless face zeroed in on him and it charged, immediately. They opened fire on the beast, but their bullets simply lodged in the thick exoskeleton of its head. It wasn’t slowing down.

“Oh-h shit!” Maya did the intelligent thing and darted to the side to avoid being trampled, but Salvador held his ground, holding the triggers of two SMGs down as he stood right in the creature’s path.

“HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT YOU SON OF BITCH!” he screamed above the thundering of his guns. I had my doubts before, but this confirmed it; Salvador was not much saner than I was. The spiderant raced past me, which seemed to deeply offend my outer self. I howled and slashed at the thing’s armored leg right before it barreled into the much, much smaller Pandoran.

The man had to have just taken the hit force of a train, but his guns kept firing. He was plastered across its head like a bug on a windshield, yet he still screamed defiantly and unloaded bullets into its exoskeleton. Maya and I could only watch in horror as he was swept away by the stampeding spiderant, right into one of the domed masses of insect nest. His yelling was abruptly cut off; he and the beast disappeared in a cloud of dust and a huge chunks of nesting material.

“SALVADOR!” Maya shouted. She started to run towards the collapsing dome, only for the ground in front of her to start shifting and breaking apart. More of the bloodthirsty insects emerged from the ground surrounding us, two, then six, then a dozen. They shrieked and growled at us from all directions, forcing Maya to stumble backwards to stand next to me.

They made an absolute mess of the earth. It shifted dangerously beneath our feet, loosened by the spiderants digging and borne down by their weight. I could see the dirt sinking in multiple places around us.

_Get us to stable ground!_

My urging came too late. With a massive cracking noise, the earth lurched and collapsed. Suddenly I was falling. My arm shot out to hold on to Maya in the confusion, but I only grasped at thin air. It took longer than I expected for my back to hit something solid, but by the time I did I was staring up at the edges of the 12 foot hole we’d just landed in, swarmed at all sides by spiderants that were either falling in too or hissing from their perch.

I sat up to see Maya had landed closeby. She had her shotgun shoved against a slobbering spiderant’s underside as it loomed over her. I jumped to my feet immediately, but before I could take a swing at the oversized bug she blasted its thorax open with two well-placed shots. She grunted in disgust as she pushed off its remains and stood up again.

The members of the swarm that hadn’t fallen into the hole were quickly descending to meet us again. Around us were a number of entrances to tunnels hollowed out in the dirt, and a distant rumbling suggested that even more spiderants were skittering over to investigate the noise. It seemed we’d had the misfortune of falling right into their underground tunnel system. Maya cocked her gun, glanced over her shoulder at me, and nodded determinedly. Despite the immense danger we were in and the fact one of our teammates might’ve just died, I felt myself grinning behind my mask at her.

“NOW THAT’S A RIP-ROARING LIVER CHUNKER!” I shouted as the bugs closed in. At the sound of insectile chittering to my left I abruptly swung around to see myself clout a spiderant in the side of the head with my massive axe. The force of the blow sent it reeling, just so I could go for the next one coming to take its place. Soon a handful of them were snapping at me from all sides, so I started swinging in wide arcs. With each gouging crash came sickening squelches, flying fragments of exoskeleton, and cyan-hued bug blood. As more emerged from the tunnels they jumped at me, only to be roughly thrown off or pinned down and eviscerated. I was less focused on keeping track of the violence my own hands were inflicting, though. What I was really listening for was the comforting noise of Maya’s gunshots nearby.

I lost count of all the times I heard her shotgun fire, just like I was losing count of all the spiderants I was hacking to pieces. Over time the blast of her shotgun turned into the ringing bangs of a pistol, and that into the rapidfire of a combat rifle. Meanwhile my hands were chopping, punching, and ripping apart every spiderant that came close enough. I was collecting a number of deep cuts and bites as I went on, but I didn’t stop swinging the axe. The man in control was content to kill until we dropped, while _I_ was dead set on getting Maya out of that pit alive.

“Shit!” I heard her curse over the constant noise of the swarm. There were several seconds with no gunshots, which could only mean one horrible thing; she’d run out of ammunition.

_Draw them away from her!_

I couldn’t tear my focus away from the spiderant I was digging my blade into, like watching it shriek and suffer was more important than anything. I heard the unnatural, shuddering inhale of Maya tearing a dimensional rip. The tunnels were cast in blue light, which finally drew my attention to her. Amidst the clamoring bodies I could see her hand, reaching up and glowing, trapping not one, but _four_ of the insects in a phaselock. They were thrown against a nearby wall so forcefully I heard the crack of their exoskeletons.

The display of her power distracted me a second long enough for the spiderants to take advantage. I felt the weight of one crash into me, accompanied by the pain of its legs digging into my back. They were overpowering me; I couldn’t reach Maya or even see what was happening to her. I could feel my heart beating alarmingly fast as absolute panic constricted my chest. Once again I felt the dull pain in my head that grew with my mounting frustration.

She was out of ammunition, her powers had to be sapping her strength, and there were still dozens of the beasts to get through. I had to lose myself to the building anger; I saw no other way. She’d seen plenty of my ugly side. I suppose it was only a matter of time before I revealed my even uglier side.

_Keep her safe. Keep her safe._

I urged repeatedly and firmly, but the voices were already starting to drown me out. Their whispers picked up to savage, growling shouts. I felt the excruciating pain of my flesh moving, pulsing, shifting, like horrible worms digging beneath my skin. All of my strength pooled in the arm that held my axe, all of my mind bent on the impending slaughter. In a sea of voices screaming for bloodshed, I was the only one hoping to every power out there that she wouldn’t be caught in the crossfire. I tried my best to shout above the crowd scrambling through my head.

_LISTEN TO ME! KEEP HER SAFE!_

My hazy vision zeroed in on the nearest spiderant, its huge, eyeless head tilted up and drooling. I could barely hear the revving of my buzz axe over the beat of my heart and the din of the voices, but I watched in shock as it came crashing through the beast’s thick dome of a carapace.

“ **LET THEIR EYESHAPES SQUIRM, LET THEIR CATERWAULING JOIN THE SYMPHONY**!” my voice poured out in a demonic roar as the rotating blade dug deeper, spattering my body with blue fluid and shattered bits of exoskeleton. The spiderant convulsed violently before it slid off of my blade and crumpled to the earth. I was on the next one in an instant, slashing through segmented legs, letting it fall just to stomp down on its abdomen till it burst like rotten fruit. A sharp leg clipped my ribcage as another leapt at me. I slammed the side of my axe into it so brutally it went flying.

My axe halved another spiderant, dug into another, it left gashes of oozing blue everywhere I looked. Darkness was creeping in on the edges of my awareness but I didn’t slow for a second. With each bug I tore through I only seemed to be gaining momentum. I saw myself slashing through a thorax, then the next second I was ripping one limb from limb, the next I caught a glimpse of Maya’s yellow armor before more reeking fluid sloshed over my face. I blinked and saw a dripping pair of fangs right before my eye, only to fade out yet again.

I came back to the distant groan of one of the insects and the muffled sound of my own blood rushing through my head. My fuzzy vision was focused on the ground, littered with spiderant corpses and all the disgusting viscera they contained. I felt… proportional again. My wounds had healed somehow, but I was still dazed. My breath came out in heaving pants that hurt my lungs. Before I could bask in the relief of the silence I realized what had just happened.

_Where is she?_

My head swung around like a tranquilized animal’s, searching through the dark tunnels around me for something that wasn’t a dismembered spiderant. There several seconds of agonizing worry before my gaze fell on Maya. She was braced against a burrow and breathing heavily, staring at me in unblinking shock.

We panted and watched one another in silence, me coming down from the high of my killing spree, her trying to process what she’d just witnessed. I could cry out of relief that I hadn’t hurt her in my frenzy. At the same time, she’d just seen how much of a mutant I could be. I could only imagine what must’ve been going through her head. My breathing only seemed to speed up as I thought about it. An insect organ that was wobbling on my shoulder slid down my chest to land on the ground with a wet plop.

“Woo, what a bloodbath!” Salvador’s jovial voice echoed through the chamber, making Maya jump slightly. The two of us turned our heads upwards to see the gunzerker himself leaning over the edge of where the ground had collapsed, grinning down at us. “I feel so left out!” He was covered in dirt, grime, and patchy blue stains like we were, but besides that he didn’t look much worse for wear.

“Sal! You’re okay!” Maya finally breathed out.

“Hell yeah I am! How about you two?”

“READY FOR THE REMIX!” I belted out, my voice back to its usual grating scream.

“Yeah…” Maya threw a glance my way and nodded. “Yeah we’re okay.” I still couldn’t quite read her expression.

“Let’s get you out of there, yeah? Friggin’ reeks.”

 

It took some rope and a bit of desperate scrabbling over spiderant corpses to bring us back to the surface, but luckily Salvador was even stronger than he looked. I was honestly shocked that he’d managed to haul my giant self out of there after Maya. And all the while he spun us a yarn about how he’d gunned the massive spiderant into submission, rode its back like a bucking bronco, and ‘punched it so hard it exploded everywhere’. Once we were out the three of us put a great distance between ourselves and the caved-in bandit camp before we took a moment to breathe.  

“We must’ve dropped into the mother of all spiderant nests. I landed right on my ECHO too, it’s totally busted.” Maya let out an exhausted sigh and plunked herself down in the wet snow. As soon as she made contact with the ground she winced in pain. “Ahhh-yep, that’s a bruise.”

"Don’t get too comfortable.” Salvador chuckled, “The rest of them found a cave leading deeper in, they’re waiting for us there.” The siren let out a groan.

I stared down at the snow in interest before I let myself fall face-first into it. It was unpleasantly icy and compact, but that didn’t stop me from rolling around in it while babbling incomprehensibly. My body left streaks of putrid blue wherever it touched. Maya spoke as I wallowed in the slurried mix of snow and blood.

“Alright. I’m just gonna check around the camp first.” My face was still shoved in the icy ground but I heard her get up and walk off.

“Don’t go falling in a giant hole again!” Salvador called after her.

“I wooooon’t!”

 

She returned after a short while, with an armful of ammo she distributed between her and Salvador. After that we were off, the gunzerker leading the way this time as we went back the way we came. It didn’t feel great to get so horrendously sidetracked, but at least the three of us had emerged from it relatively unscathed.

Speaking of Maya, I noticed her hovering closer to me while we walked behind Sal. “Hey.” she said at a somewhat lower volume. I felt a tiny thrill over the fact she was trying to get my attention. My mask turned to her as I narrowed my eye. She was looking up at me, and it took me a second to realize she was holding an object out to me. It was an ECHO device, a bit beat-up but still functioning. “I found a couple of these. Pretty sure the owners were eaten by spiderants so…” I only stared at her offering blankly and left her hanging.

_Don’t be rude. She’s giving you a gift._

“You should have one too, in case you get separated.” She tried again. The simple gift made me feel a strong… emotion, I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It was like a sappy burst of optimism for the first time in a while. Before that day I saw myself as something akin to the vault hunters’ badly-trained attack skag, but in that moment I realized she considered me a teammate. The gesture probably didn’t have a profound meaning to her, but it did to me.

Finally I took the device from her with a surprising gentleness and held it up to my mask to smell it. It wasn’t food or something to kill, so I can’t imagine my other half would find any value in it. Hell, it took me months to convince him of the value of pants. She looked to me and pointed at her own ECHO, before demonstrably clipping it to one of her belt loops. I took the hint and did the same. A moment silence hung between us two as we followed Salvador. The stocky Pandoran was half-singing, half-mumbling a song in his native tongue.

“I guess we’re 2 for 2, on the skin-saving thing.” Maya commented, glancing up to smile at me again. Suddenly I felt very aware of how sweaty I was. Even with spiderant spittle in her hair she was strikingly beautiful. “Thank you.”

_It’s… the least I could do. Or he could do, technically. I didn’t have much of a hand in it. I don’t know why I’m saying this. You can’t hear me._

What came out of my mouth was only slightly more embarrassing than my anxious internal rambling. “I’LL STITCH THE BLADE WITH MEAT-LACE AND EGGNOG!”

Instead of confusedly trying to interpret my nonsense words she just laughed and turned her gaze back to the path ahead. “If you can do that giant arm thing again when we meet the Firehawk, I think we’ll be in good shape.” 

“STRIP THE FLESH!” I belted back.

“Only if they aren’t willing to negotiate.” She smirked at me, and suddenly I felt light enough to laugh, or to burst into song with Salvador without even knowing the lyrics. Of course I wasn’t able to do either of those things. But for a second there, I got the crazy belief in my head that someday I could.


End file.
